Tag Archives | tattoos

In my continual bid to alienate every girl on the planet and send them into an unhinged foaming rage, I shall now explain why I HATE tattoos

So I read lately that Kate Upton got a tattoo.  Of a cross, because she’s like, religious and stuff.  I guess she probably got that idea as a result of hearing so many men exclaim “I’ve found religion!!!” every time they stared at her gabzumbas.

Anyhoo, so because someone had once taken her cross necklace away, she got a tattoo of a cross inked on her finger instead so she could always show her “devotion to God.”  Well here’s an idea: how about showing your devotion to God by, oh I dunno, acting in a godly way?  And what’s a godly way to act you ask?  Hmmm, well, I would suggest wearing actual clothes and not injecting yourself with Hepatitis C infested tattoo ink for a start.

But since dear Katie has touched on another subject I’ve pondering over for a while, I might as well get this off my chest and explain why I generally avoid dating Christian woman who sees absolutely nothing wrong with tattoos and body mods.

Jesus loves me and my tattoos slogan

Exploring this from a biblical perspective, there are only a handful of places in the Bible where tattoos are addressed, mostly in Leviticus:

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I [am] the LORD. – Leviticus 19:28

There are two arguments used by proponents of tattoos to address this, one is that this is an Old Testament rule that no longer applies for today, and two, that this refers only to the specific practice of mourning for the dead.  The former is a glib dismissal of what the OT can teach us about God’s law, and should invite us to understand why God commanded the things that He did.

For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. – Roman 15:4

Now all these things happened unto them {the Israelites} for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. – 1 Corinthians 10:11

When we examine these verses more closely, we find God also instructed the Hebrews not to cut their beards and hair a certain way as well.  (Leviticus 19:27)  These things would seem utterly trivial compared to other more obvious sins (such as adultery), and because of that it’s easy to disregard them as commandments that don’t really “count.”

But these practices were forbidden not because God was being petty, but because they reflected the practices of the heathen nations that surrounded the Israelites.  The marring of the skin and hair were idolatrous traditions they made for their gods (or for the dead).  Thus for an Israelite to do the same meant he was giving respect to false gods rather than the only true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

As you read through the OT laws it starts to become obvious the message God was conveying to His people:  STOP ACTING LIKE THE WORLD.  Stop mimicking their traditions, stop imitating them, and be a peculiar and holy people.  “Be ye holy, for I am holy.”

Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I [am] the LORD your God. – Leviticus 20:7

Sanctify by the way means “to set apart.”  Our lives should carry with it a distinctive separation from how the world behaves.  Yet rather than eschew the world’s trends, Christians co-opt them and then slap a Christian label on it, not just for tattoos, but for nearly everything.  We even co-opt commercial slogans to give them a more Christian spin.  (Got Jesus?)  So the idea of “Christian” tattoos is not unique unto itself, but part of an overall pattern.  Nothing in the Bible validates this approach either.  God never says, if you sport the same haircut/tattoo for Me, THEN it’s ok.  Instead God wants us to avoid the practice altogether.


Now you can enjoy fresh breath AND grow in the faith!

Yet sanctification for some Christians evidently seems to mean merely sanitizing worldly trends by attempting to “christianize it.”  So while the standard tattoos that depict odd or even demonic images would be bad, a tattoo of a Bible verse or cross is a-ok.

This is why I don’t think I can be with a girl who can’t see what’s really going on behind the prevalence of tattoos and body modifications.  For me, I don’t merely see the acts, I see the overall picture, and that we’re actually regressing as a society to the point that in the near future body mods will become mainstream and almost indistinguishable from tribal cultures such as the ancient Mayans.  The body mods we see today is going to be considered tame compared to what we’ll see 20 years from now, as more and more of humanity become driven to mutilate their bodies as much as they can, just as the heathens have done for thousands of years.  Everything old is new again.

So it’s disappointing to me when I meet a girl who professes to love God but at the same time tries to rationalize or excuse pursuing worldly customs, rather than make a point of eschewing them in the interest of distinguishing herself from the world.  This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date someone who already has tattoos, but I do want them to be OPEN to the idea that the growing prevalence of tattoos today is not an accident, and is certainly not of God.  A woman who chooses to go her own way rather than chase after every worldly fad is someone more likely to understand me and the life I’ve lived.  Otherwise I suspect the disparity between our opposing beliefs is symptomatic of irreconcilable differences that would result in either a failed relationship or marriage.

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