Tag Archives | gender roles

Single ladies, I’m ready to provide, are you ready to cook?

I can just hear the teeth grinding from de vimmins now.  Heh.  So let me ask you, why am I as a man still expected to fulfill the traditional role of a provider, but it’s perfectly ok for women to cede the traditional role of a nurturer? (and making me good sammiches?)

So if I not only have to slave all day to rake in the coins, but also come home to cook, clean, maintain the house, etc., what exactly will you be contributing while I’m busy here effectively working 2 full time jobs (one at work and one at home)?

I understand that there are men who are willing to stay home while the women work.  I personally think these men are girlie boys who should be ridiculed, scorned and flogged mercilessly with a rusty barbed cane, but hey, if the relationship works, more power to them.

I’m not a nurturer though.  My drive is to protect and provide, because I like protecting things, and I like providing for others.  It’s a man thing, and I’m not going to apologize for it.  I also know, as much as so many feminist/career minded women today will deny it, that deep down most of them ENJOY being a homebody, cooking, nurturing and otherwise taking care of their homes.  It’s  a lot of work, but if I take immense satisfaction in being a protector, I can only imagine that they derive an equal amount of satisfaction in cooking a gourmet meal worthy of a 5 star New York City restaurant for their honey snoogum winkles (or family and friends.)

Darth Vader points way to kitchen

I’m not an unreasonable man though.  If we were BOTH working full time, then it’s completely reasonable to expect and work out a way to split our chores equally, including cooking as well.  The irony is that I LIKE to cook, but I’m very inexperienced at it, and I could use the guidance of one who has mastered the craft.  One of the things I fantasize about is enjoying a cooking weekend with my honey twinkles, where she teaches me how to crack an egg with one hand and spin pizza dough with the other.  Mad ninja cooking skills, yo.  A feminine mentor who shows me how to handle my… curry, if you know what I mean.

Cooking together, doing chores together, working together as a functioning and stable unit, why that almost sounds like how a healthy relationship should work!

But if there ever comes time where marriage comes in and children after that,  I simply will not accept any arrangement that would have me staying home full time to raise the kids, because it’s not who I am.  Whoever I wind up with will understand that as well,  and would cheerfully give up her job/career to care for the children and the house.  Even then it’s not necessarily permanent, as she could work part-time or re-enter her choice of profession full time again once the kids are grown.  Together we can provide our family with the dual pillars of both financial and domestic stability.

That’s why honesty is the best policy for me.  Letting women know up front what I expect of them, and what they should expect of me.  If you decide cooking is beneath you, your career is more important than not leaving kids with a weird nanny, and/or men are glorified ATM machines to be abused and insulted on a regular basis, well then, there’s the door, hope you find what you’re looking for, nice knowing ya.

It’s ironic.  Women have these lists of demands about what they want in a man beginning with him not being unemployed and living on mommy’s couch, and for the most part I totally understand and agree with it.  But when a guy’s criteria starts with a woman having some good basic cooking skills, they go CRAY CRAY.

Yeesh.  Modern women today tend to believe the traditional roles such as is described in Proverbs 31 are beneath them, leading to the logical conclusion that leave men with no other choice but to take on multiple roles to support a family, while women take on, well… no roles.  Except moving up the career ladder so they can be just like Marissa Mayer.

Is it any wonder so many men have decided, “You know… this is kind of a bum deal, I’m out!”

The sad thing is so many of them think they’ve finally one upped the EVIL man by being stroooong and independent and like, stuff.  But while those of us who remain single enjoy flush incomes, peace of mind and a drama-free life, women can only soldier on via the taxpayer’s dime, or relying on the goodwill of companies offering work at home jobs (for those of you who actually have some self-respect and refuse to take handouts.)  You know, companies like Yahoo!  (Oh wait…)

In some weird twist of poetic justice, we’re living in a world where women, having refused to take on one role, are now being forced to take on TWO in order to survive.  Brave new world, my friends.

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