Tag Archives | Apple


I will not order the new iPad Air, I will not order the new iPad Air…

I will not order the new iPad Air, I will not order the new iPad Air, I will not order the new iPad Air, I will not…

*breaks down, puts up old iPad on eBay*

Him: OMG, Frank is gonna spend all his money on yet another overhyped Apple product, somebody stop him!!!

Frank (imitating Scotty): But KEPTIN, I have to do it, the new iPad is 0.5 pounds lighter!!! If I don’t get it, my whole geek could blow!!


Frank: *foams at mouth* Must… Get… Apple… Must… *convulses into seizures*

Looking at iOS 7, I wonder if flat design is a scam perpetrated on us by lazy and untalented designers

I’ve always loved the 3D, skeuomorphic look of the icons on my Apple iPhone before iOS 7.  They were vibrant, colorful, and had a level of depth to them that were aesthetically pleasing to the eye.   The 3D imagery gave substance to the apps I used, while the skeuomorphism that too many schmuck-head geeks have suddenly now decided to hate simulated real life objects with attractive visual cues, such as typing down notes on what looked like an actual notepad.   Sometimes it got too tacky, such as faux leather in the “Find My Friends” app, but overall I appreciated the effort to present a visually appealing look in which no learning curve was required.

Now, they’ve done away with a lot of the skeuomorphism, and while I’ve resigned myself to having to adjust to the profoundly different look of iOS 7, there’s something about the new icons in particular that really, REALLY irritates me.  It’s not so much that I can’t get adapt to the new design or admit that much of the functionality of iOS 7 is actually much better, it’s that merely glancing at these icons has me absolutely convinced that we’re being scammed by lazy fat bagged designers who vomited forth these 8-bit icons using MS Paint because it took all of five minutes to create, allowing them to spend the rest of their workday surfing pr0n and defending this ugly flat look on forums by proclaiming that it’s the new edgy and cool trend in design.

iOS6 and iOS7 Home Screen Comparison

By the way the 90s called, they’d like their neon colors back.

It’s a FRAUD is what it is.  And I think that’s why just LOOKING at these icons agitates me so much.  Whereas before, you could tell a significant amount of work went into making the old icons, or at least were certainly not anything that could easily be reproduced after a few minutes of using Photoshop.  Actual SKILL and TALENT were needed to create them.

The new icons?  Please.  They’re so basic and bland that even I could replicate them easily, in fact there are others who were able to reproduce the same look in just a few minutes of using standard graphic freeware.  Even more embarrassingly, some of those revised icons made by enthusiasts looked SO much better too.  Meanwhile the serial killer looking Jony Ive who foisted this kindergarten level, neon crap on us recently nabs himself a 17 million dollar home in San Fran.  Really?  What he produced here shouldn’t even be paid minimum wage.  To me he’ll be forever known as the foochball who completely destroyed and ruined the credibility of designers everywhere, because now I’ll forever regard them as lazy, unskilled lying liars from Liarsburg who intentionally created this grotesquely boring, simplistic look in order to reduce their workload, and then have the chutzpah to claim this is an improvement over the previous generation of 3d/skeuomorphic design because it’s MORE HONEST.  OMG, I just can’t even…

Angry fat man overthrows table

Whatever.  The problem is this is an industry wide trend, so it’s not like I can switch from Apple to Droid or (God help me, a Microsoft Phone), because the same stupid flat design is going to plague me there as well.  It was one of the reasons why I liked Apple, because they had a tendency to buck the trend and design according to their in-house standards.  Not anymore it seems.  My only hope then is that there will be enough of a user backlash to force a return (if only merely in part) to the good old days of skeuomorphism and gradients, preferably where the icons finally become dynamic (the way the widgets on Droid phones and tiles on Windows 8 sometimes are).


Another depiction of the Brooklyn Skyline (as seen from South Street)

I did some experimenting and created another photographic depiction of the Brooklyn skyline:

Brooklyn Skyline with Ship (as seen from South Street)

I’m much more satisfied with the quality of this version, developed by exporting the original photo from my Canon Powershot S95 camera (rather than using the one I took from the iPhone itself), and then using an app to give it a more artistic look.

Oddly enough I came up with this approach after following the Apple event today announcing the new iPhone 5S.  I’m not sure exactly what I was expecting, but for some reason this event left me extremely annoyed with Apple.  I think it’s the look of the UGLY AS SIN iOS 7 that’s probably agitating me more than anything else, but I might have forgiven that if they had made a serious upgrade to the camera and battery (which of course they didn’t).  I’m constantly juggling between my Canon and my iPhone when it comes to taking photos, and I was kind of hoping the camera for the iPhone would become polished enough that I could finally use it exclusively, instead of always carrying two cameras.

LOL, I don’t think that’s gonna be happening for a while now.  BUT, Canon’s latest iteration of my favorite camera model (the Powershot S110/120 series) has WiFi capabilities, which means if I upgrade I could set it up so that every picture I take on my Canon can automatically be wirelessly transferred to my iPhone, and then from there I can edit and share it online accordingly.  (I actually have this ability already on my S95 by using an Eye-Fi card.)  The above photo was a trial run of doing precisely that, so it seems like this new workflow could work out very well for me.  I can keep my iPhone in my pocket, and only pull it out when I’m ready to edit or share.  MUCH easier than constantly juggling back and forth.  The last thing I need is to be doing that only to watch my phone or camera slip through my hands and sail away into the depths of the Grand Canyons somewhere.  Not quite the life changing experience I’d be looking for.

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