Aside

Ok, I’m done with the world today

So I stopped by the supermarket to get some drinks for work, and of course all the self-checkouts have lines, and the guy in front of me, all he’s doing is buying a wiffle ball and bat, right?

This guy, HAS to pay exact change for some reason. So he’s feeding pennies into the machine, and these pennies keep getting rejected… so he feeds them back again.

One penny! Two pennies! Three pennies! I LOOOOVE to count! AH AH AH!

And I’m standing there watching this, turning beet red with rage, but right before I’m reading to lose it and tell him off, he FINALLY decides, yeah, maybe paying exact change isn’t that important and uses a single.

I’m done with the world today.

25 Responses to Ok, I’m done with the world today

  1. Lois Schwarz September 3, 2013 at 1:06 PM #

    God has quite a sense of humor doesn’t he? I believe that you are put in a lot of these situations for a reason, but like the commercial where the one person hits the other in the forehead with a open palm and rather hard (lol) I see this situation hitting you in the head. lol… you are too funny! and you make me shake my head, laugh and move on to the next post…

    I have had MANY dogs like you Frank, with the right trainer you would do GRRRRReat ! If you were my dog and we had stopped for this idiot and I saw you fussing with anticipation and getting bothered, I would make sure that the next week was full of many more instances where this same type of situation occurred to us… until finally, you would calm down and take life as it comes and just wait… smile and wait…

    This will happen to you eventually, as you get older. This is the value of old age, one of the 7 (or was it five?) life changes that we all must go through as human beings on our way to enlightenment. Carlos Constinata (sp?) (a set of books I am sure you will very much enjoy)… as his Mexican/Indian teacher explains it to Carlos.. I can remember that ‘fear’ is one of the levels that humans must conquer and I also remember that ‘old age’ is the last that his teacher would conquer .

    • Frank Swift September 3, 2013 at 1:29 PM #

      That’s funny, considering God is my trainer, I suspect that’s why I keep encountering the same scenarios over and over again, until I finally learn. O:-) I’m a stubborn one though…

    • Maeve September 3, 2013 at 1:43 PM #

      This reminds me of some advice I was once given – “Whatever you pray for to God, don’t pray to him for more patience. He will send endless opportunities your way to hone that virtue.” Sometimes I forget the really good advice that’s handed out to me.

  2. Frank Swift September 3, 2013 at 2:03 PM #

    Be careful what you pray for… I’m finding in my crinkly old age a lot of the things I ask God for, I ask out of blinding ignorance and naivete. ;-)

  3. ava September 3, 2013 at 2:54 PM #

    this is water.

  4. Cautiously Pessimistic September 3, 2013 at 3:08 PM #

    I’d do better with patients if it didn’t take so freakin’ long.

    • Maeve September 3, 2013 at 3:17 PM #

      most patients don’t have patience either….

  5. Cautiously Pessimistic September 3, 2013 at 3:13 PM #

    Err… I’m a doctor. So I meant to say ‘patients’. That wasn’t a mistake. I totally meant to say that. Because I get impatient making the rounds and seeing all those patients, you see.

    Man, that is sew embarrassing.

    • Maeve September 3, 2013 at 3:20 PM #

      I can sea that

  6. Frank Swift September 3, 2013 at 3:24 PM #

    I can see the sea, but I don’t saw the sea, as you cannot saw the sea, unless you see a saw in the sea, then you can say you saw a saw in the sea.

    • Maeve September 3, 2013 at 3:28 PM #

      Well, in that case….

      The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.

      Pfbbththgh

    • Frank Swift September 3, 2013 at 3:32 PM #

      Grumpy Cat Applauds

  7. Maeve September 3, 2013 at 3:44 PM #

    tell me, Frank, is there any special substance one can purchase to coat one’s monitor so as to prevent damage caused by excessive spewing of highly caffeinated beverages upon it? If not, you could probably make a killing inventing said substance. I would probably be your very best customer.

    • Frank Swift September 3, 2013 at 5:25 PM #

      Nyet, I’m a problem maker, not a solver, so such invention would be beyond the scope of my capacity and reason for living.

  8. Frank Swift September 3, 2013 at 5:28 PM #

    Ava, sad to read that the guy who gave that speech committed suicide a few years later. :-\

    You know ironically, if I had smiled the way the guy standing in line did at the girl in the vid, she’d probably be reaching for the pepper spray.

  9. ava September 4, 2013 at 6:06 AM #

    imagine, if you will, you’re the guy standing in the line, so hungry and exhausted you die 5 times a minute and it’s a painful death every single time. see the black girl sipping her soda? she’s doing it suggestively, looking you straight in the eyes, caressing the cup. you move away. the blonde girl, the one talking on the phone touches you while gesturing. by accident of course, 33 times by accident. the mother with the coupons comes up to you and asks you out loud, so everyone around you can hear it: “wanna have sex with me?”. the old lady working at the register, that could easily be your great grandmother, is making what’s supposed to be sexy faces and grunting a little while passing on your products. oh, and then the brunette, she smiles at you nicely. wouldn’t you also be cagey, or reaching for your pepper spray?

    and let me just say that much worse things happen. you don’t know the first thing of what it’s like to be a girl, so don’t be too harsh. this is water, remember?

    • Frank Swift September 4, 2013 at 2:11 PM #

      Ava, is there anything I write that you actually DO agree with?

      Picture this: a man gets chewed out at work for something he didn’t do, then leaves and finds someone dented his car. He goes to the market and is about to pull into a space when someone cuts him off and pulls in first. He goes inside and gets a few grocery items, then goes to checkout and waits behind the lady who brought 50 items to a 12 items or less checkout line. He sighs. He glances over and sees a pretty girl also waiting in line at another checkout. He smiles. She ignores him. He sighs again.

      He finally checks out his groceries. He’s about to walk out, but he holds the door open for another girl, and smiles again. She doesn’t say thank you and ignores him as well. He walks to his car, and finds somebody had parked so close to the driver’s side that he can’t get in that way. He opens the passenger side and crawls into the driver’s seat, banging his head against the steering wheel in the process. Dazed, he pulls out just as a car screeches past with only inches to spare, honking the horn and giving him obscene gestures.

      Saddened, worn out and fatigued by the world, he finally returns home… and hangs himself.

      Remember, just because a man smiles at you doesn’t mean he wants to get into your panties and shmoom shmoom your boom boom.

      THIS IS WATER, REMEMBER!?!??!!?

    • ava September 5, 2013 at 8:11 AM #

      come on. i didn’t write it to criticize you in any way, what i was saying is that you shouldn’t take it all so personally, for example when a girl in the line doesn’t smile back, because probably she behaves the way she does for reasons hat have nothing to do with you. that’s all.

    • Frank Swift September 5, 2013 at 12:52 PM #

      Ava, I’ll agree with that, I do have a tendency to take things too personally. The price of being an uber sensitive introvert I suspect.

    • ava September 6, 2013 at 11:53 AM #

      and for the record, i actually do agree with some of the stuff you write about. for instance i do agree that fall is the best of the seasons, i just generally don’t care enough to comment on that, unless i have something to add to that.

  10. loischwarz September 4, 2013 at 6:37 PM #

    I think that everyone in this world (every human being with ears, eyes, a mind, that can or could read or be read too) should all study the self help books in grades 4, 5 and 6th. When they get into high school every one should be required to go to 3 months worth of AA meetings and 3 months worth of Alanon meetings. All having sign in chits to bring back as proof of attendance. The first year of college all freshmen should be required to study “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. That should change all of the blogs and posts in a much more positive way! Your Welcome <3

    • Frank Swift September 4, 2013 at 7:22 PM #

      Funny you mention the book by Dale Carnegie, I’m in fact reading a book called QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking that in a way emphasizes practically the exact opposite of Carnegie’s philosophy, and reveals a cultural shift we experienced that now emphasizes personality over character. There’s much more to this of course, so I plan to BLOG a more in-depth review once I finish reading the book. ;-)

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