A Hump Day Conversation

Me: So I was writing on someone’s Facebook wall suggesting the day women’s suffrage began should be equated with the day Pearl Harbor was bombed.

Him: …

Me: Oh, and that Jesus loves everyone, except Jews. And Oakland Raiders fans.

Him: You’re trashing Jews now?

Me: You’re right. I should have said Southerners. Or people in Arkansas.

Him: Jesus likes us better than New Yorkers.

Me: I’m not really a New Yorker. I just live here.

Him: You’re a New Yorker.

Me: Nyet, I am not defined by where I happen to live. I am a special snowflake.

Him: *sigh*

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14 Responses to A Hump Day Conversation

  1. The Zionist Regime, Now With Extra Sprinkles August 28, 2013 at 3:11 PM #

    You’ll be hearing from us.

    • Achmed The Terrorist August 31, 2013 at 4:15 PM #


    • Maeve August 31, 2013 at 9:08 PM #

      Or He Kill You

  2. Frustrated New Yorkers August 28, 2013 at 3:14 PM #

    Please, can’t anyone find Frank a home outside of New York? He’s becoming insufferable!

    • Warden of Siberian Prison Camp August 28, 2013 at 3:16 PM #

      We might have a place for Frank…

  3. Cautiously Pessimistic August 28, 2013 at 3:40 PM #

    Hey, don’t knock Arkansas. It’s the only state that would grant my wife and I legal marriage. Sure, Massachusetts and California say they’re open and affirming, but the flak you get for trying to marry your sister…

    • Frank Swift August 28, 2013 at 3:44 PM #

      Sisters you say? Arkansas must have relaxed their standards a bit then. Used to be you could only marry cousins…

  4. Cautiously Pessimistic August 28, 2013 at 3:54 PM #

    Sisters? No, no, just the one sister. I’m not one of those polygamy freaks. That’s just wrong.

    Besides, my other sister is a real dog.

    • Maeve August 28, 2013 at 3:58 PM #

      Arkansas? Sisters? Multiples? Dogs? Someone really needs to let MATT DAMON know about this!

    • Frank Swift August 28, 2013 at 4:05 PM #

      Matt Damon is unavailable to comment though, too busy saving Gotham.

      Batfleck and Matt Damon!

  5. a August 28, 2013 at 11:44 PM #

    This thread gave me a few needed laughs. Thank you very much!

    • Frank Swift August 28, 2013 at 11:49 PM #

      A, you’re welcome, but careful you don’t stick around TOO long, or the crazy might infect you too.

      Pee Wee spinning

    • Maeve August 29, 2013 at 11:10 PM #

      You know, if you stare at the PeeWee clip too long, you’ll get hypnotized and start thinking you’re Matt Damon

  6. Matt Damon! August 30, 2013 at 12:19 AM #

    Guys, I appreciate all the love here but this is starting to get a little creepy.

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