How I surprisingly got a date out of chatting up a hot girl on a flight back home

Finally got back yesterday after wrapping up a 16 day road trip!  (I’ll start recapping with photos and posts as the week goes on.)  I had a pretty awesome time, but towards the end I was ready to go home.  As much as I truly love the road (and Colorado) it still remains a place I can only visit, not a place I can truly call home (yet).

So I arrive at Denver airport, check in my bags, and eventually make my way to my window seat.  While I was moving through the plane I was thinking, “I’ve been on dozens of flights now and I never, EVER wind up sitting next to a hot girl.  EVER.”  I see some ugly dude standing over the aisle seat in my row and I’m like, “Yep, here we go, same old crap.”

But… he was standing there to let people pass and winds up moving to the row in front of me.  Whew.  I get into my seat and patiently await to see what Michael Moorish 500 pound creature out of Lovecraft’s books would end up sitting next to me.

It never materialized.  Instead, this GORGEOUS looking girl takes the aisle seat next to me, and it turns out no one had booked the middle seat between us, so we had the entire row to ourselves.  And I’m like… “Did that really just happen?”

After griping not 5 minutes earlier about never having the random good fortune of sitting next to a beautiful woman on the plane, lo and behold here she was, with the extra bonus of having a seat between us free for added comfort and minimal distractions.  It was like God had heard my complaints and presented a GOLDEN opportunity for me, all wrapped up in a nice red bow, and was now challenging me, “Here’s what you wanted Frank, now what are you going to do about it?”

So what did I do?  Nothing.

It was the curse of the introvert.  Instead of seizing the moment, I was calculating probabilities in my head, exploring every conceivable outcome that could arise from my talking to her.  Was she married, was she single, is she friendly, or would she rudely cut me off, would I even be able to hear her over the roaring of the jet engines, or would I completely embarrass myself, was she from Colorado or New York, and if Colorado how could that work, and if New York would she have that typical New York attitude, was her boyfriend/husband actually on the plane too and just in another seat, and would he curbstomp me for daring to speak to her after we de-boarded?

The more I thought and envisioned all the possible scenarios, the worse the knot in my stomach started to get.  Meanwhile I had to exercise serious restraint from openly admiring her exotically feminine figure, stealing a glance every now and then, but otherwise being a gentleman (I hope).  Of course it didn’t help that she would occasionally stretch her arms out, accentuating every gorgeous curve of her body as she did so.

Sweet mother of merciful goodness…  (I reach out and twist the A/C to full blast…)

I was still cognizant of all the ridicule I had received in a previous post about befriending women in public, the consensus by feminist trolls being that I was teh creepy creeps giving off teh creepeh vibes, and that under no circumstances should I ever smile, approach or talk to women in public, lest it be considered a form of stalking and verbal rape.  The Feminist Imperative has spoken.  So let it be written…

And the truth was, I honestly didn’t want to bother a girl if she didn’t want to be bothered.  But it was always hard to tell what their state of mind was.  The safe route of course is to simply not talk to anyone, EVER, and being an introvert that would have suited me just fine (while making all the feminists happy by acknowledging my place at the bottom of the totem pole and not polluting the air they breathe with proof of my existence).

But then I knew, if I didn’t say something, ANYTHING, I was going to regret this lost opportunity, just as I’ve come to regret all the other lost opportunities over the years.  Whereas before the old Frank would have shrunk further into his seat and buried himself in his book or iPad, the new Frank decided, “You know what, I am getting TOO OLD for this S@#$.  CARPE DIEM.”

I gently tap her shoulder.  “I was just wondering, are you from Colorado or New York?”

Her soft, expressive face brightened at my opening question, and off we went, chatting about this and that.  I tried to absorb the tremendous relief that arose from her willingness to talk to me, but my stomach continued to be in vice-like twist, pain receptors going off almost everywhere I had sensation.  It was literally like trying to move a muscle that I hadn’t moved in years.  I soldiered on though.  No more regrets.

As our plane made its descent I asked her out for coffee since she lived in Brooklyn, to which she said yes (?!?!?) and afterward we traded contact info and emails.

VICTORY!

Not so much that she said yes, but in forcing myself to turn over a new leaf, to resist the old patterns of withdrawing and letting opportunities like these slide past me.  In a way I think it’s part of getting older.  You realize time is not in fact on your side, and life will only offer you X amount of chances to meet, befriend and perhaps find the person you’re meant to be with.  I decided I would rather go through life knowing even though I may have failed, at least I gave it my all, than to say I failed because I never tried at all.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must commence the fine art of strutting.

Cool mice strutting on red carpet

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24 Responses to How I surprisingly got a date out of chatting up a hot girl on a flight back home

  1. Lisa October 14, 2013 at 4:43 PM #

    Good job! As a fellow introvert turned extrovert who converted back into an introvert, I’ll agree that it’s hard to strike up a conversation with a stranger. It gets easier with practice and sometimes people are eager to talk back. (Also, when women “rudely ignore you”, consider that they might actually be an introvert, too.)

    • Frank Swift October 14, 2013 at 8:49 PM #

      That’s mainly why I think this was an important breakthrough, I don’t actually feel it’s going to go anywhere (I could be wrong), but it was the fact that I finally stepped up to bat, and with enough experience and practice, few may ever suspect my secret identity as a social recluse and mega-introvert.

    • Lisa October 14, 2013 at 9:12 PM #

      Sometimes I wonder if a lot of bloggers are secret introverts. It gives us a chance to make friends on our own terms and when we have anxiety, we can go away. I doubt anyone would really know that you were an introvert based on meeting you, though. We’re all more critical of ourselves than we realize. And being an introvert is such a good trait sometimes–it gives you more time to be a thoughtful, caring person. (At least IMO.)

    • Frank Swift October 14, 2013 at 9:49 PM #

      If you ever get a chance you should read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. In it she delves a little bit on the curious phenomena of how introverts who are normally social recluses are suddenly the life of the party when using the internet as their medium of communication. It’s how I learned that there is a common aversion to using the phone too, and our general preference to express ourselves in written form.

  2. Judy October 14, 2013 at 5:07 PM #

    See not all people bite! You got through it without a scratch….and enjoyed you flight home.

    • Frank Swift October 14, 2013 at 8:51 PM #

      Believe it or not, visiting a friend and learning to interact with her pack of dogs worked wonders for me too. :D

  3. loischwarz October 14, 2013 at 5:19 PM #

    Smile open up the conversation and then shut up and listen for the most part. No one knows how dumb you are if you don’t open your mouth. lol… the best conversationalist in the world…. is one who listens.

    I found out that when I didn’t care, I could talk to anyone, but if I did care, I wouldn’t say much, too shy… Here is another: when you are married, it doesn’t matter so you chat… When you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and you are faithful as I am, then it once again doesn’t matter who you chat with, so you chat…
    Then yes, after years go by, these things you will learn. It comes to you… just like that.

    Oh, here is another one: When you are fat and ugly and old and you sit next to Frank on the air plane….., it doesn’t matter, so you have a wonderful chat and he learns things he would have never learned if I hadn’t sat next to him. ;>)

    • Frank Swift October 14, 2013 at 8:55 PM #

      Listening is hard, not because I’m unwilling but because I have a learning disability that compounds my ability to understand what people say. I wonder if I’ll ever meet someone who will appreciate both the physical and mental hurdles I have to clear so I can listen and pay attention when they need an ear to yammer into.

      As for sitting next to me on the plane, hahahahahah! I’ve already learned so much from you from afar, I can only imagine how instructive you’d be sucking up all my airspace. ;-)

  4. Empathic Kuagua October 14, 2013 at 6:03 PM #

    …you might tell me off for not reading your full post and being presumptuous,lol…I get the feeling mr “single and free” may have been free to take his very last missus free road trip….woooh… not sure if its good that out of my pity for your lone ranger antics, I’m actually glad some girl gave you the time and day….I suppose she had to be polite enough to put up with you for the flight and possibly to shy to request to be switched,lol…..just kidding Frank, you are seem like a guy of substance any girl would be blessed to be acquainted with you, I’m proud of you….

    • Frank Swift October 14, 2013 at 8:56 PM #

      Thank you Kuagua!

  5. Maeve October 14, 2013 at 6:30 PM #

    Frank,
    That’s so cool! I’m sending all good thoughts your way. Gotta stop now or I’ll start to squee with happy for you

    • Frank Swift October 14, 2013 at 8:58 PM #

      Don’t plan the wedding yet, it was great that she was into me, but we appear to be from two VERY different worlds. O_O Still, just being in near proximity with a beautiful woman seems to make me more attractive to other women, so, I shall continue to be a smooth operator and see where the road leads. ;-)

    • Maeve October 14, 2013 at 9:00 PM #

      LOL Frank, I’ll try and contain myself

  6. thehap (thehaproject) October 14, 2013 at 8:59 PM #

    Frank, +10 for talking to the gorgeous girl! -5 for the hamsters. -4 more for the hamsters. +10 for getting contact info and a date for coffee!

    • Frank Swift October 14, 2013 at 9:33 PM #

      Wait, what’s my final tally? Math is hard for me.

  7. ava October 15, 2013 at 7:51 AM #

    ooh la la! congrats, Frank! keep the ‘carpe diem’ attitude for the date! :)

  8. thehaproject October 15, 2013 at 8:21 PM #

    You turned it up all the way to 11, my friend.

    • Frank Swift October 15, 2013 at 8:54 PM #

      Truth be told, I’d be quite content with 10 and a half.

  9. sunshinemary October 25, 2013 at 9:21 PM #

    So, did the date happen?

    • Frank Swift October 26, 2013 at 1:05 PM #

      Nope, turns out she hated Christians. HATES them. Once it became apparent I was one as well that was it.

      I’m not upset though, as I learned more about her I became apprehensive even about meeting up for coffee. Total rave girl, heavy drinker and into drugs of the *ahem* recreational persuasion. I wonder if I tipped my hand too quickly and should have stayed mum about my background at least until I had the experience of a coffee date, but I’m sure as I continue talking to women opportunities will come along. I’m happy in that i didn’t let a potential opportunity slide by by being self defeatist like I always did, and hope I can continue that streak.

      It’s funny because just looking at her (sexy but modestly dressed), no tattoos from what I could see, and her friendly personality, I never would have pegged her for an out of control rave girl. Amazing how well women can hide their true colors…

  10. loischwarz December 16, 2013 at 11:54 AM #

    the great ones may not be ‘pretty’ as those weman who paint up their faces and wear clothes that make your manhood say “oh la la’…. try chatting to a shy introverted gal.

    • Frank Swift December 16, 2013 at 12:14 PM #

      Shy, introverted girls are hard to approach, on account of them being shy and introverted.

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