Archive | February, 2014

Aside

Hey Hollywood, get off my lawn

My parking space at work literally turned into a Hollywood set today.  I couldn’t see who they were doing filming for, but I know it’s one of the primetime TV shows.  Kinda weird to go into work and suddenly be surrounded by a buzz of crew workers setting up spotlights, cameras, et cetera, and shooting scenes.  The actors I expect were probably eating caviar in their trailers while everyone else were freezing their jimmy johns off getting the sets ready.  Then I suspect they come out for 5 minutes, do their lines, go back in their trailers and be none the wiser.  What a life.

As for why they’re filming here, I’m guessing they probably needed scenery that resembled a typical street in Detroit, only dirtier and uglier.  Tee hee.

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Valentine’s Day goes to the dogs

The latest from Colorado: for those who don’t know, Bonnie is a breeding dog that first needs to produce a litter before she can begin training as a hearing dog.  Fitting that on Valentine’s Day (of all days) the first major hurdle may have been cleared, meaning puppies in 2 months!

Bonnie and Storm, American Alsatians

Bonnie (the dog I’m waiting for) and Storm, the future sire.

Finding areas that have the mildest climates

This chart has been making the rounds lately on social media, and while the data is pretty simplistic (a mean count of the number of days a year where the temps are between 55 to 75 degrees Fahrenheit), it’s nice to have a visual look at what places are likely to offer the mildest climates:

Pleasant Places to Live Map

The bluer the circles, the higher the frequency of pleasant weather.

I’m surprised by just how few days my area gets of pleasant weather (67-70).  That’s basically only 2 months out of the year where the temps are between 55-75.  Wow.  Note southern California, which of course enjoys nearly 6 months of pleasant weather.  I guess the label “Sunny California” really does apply.

What interests me are the barely discernible circles blanketing Idaho and Montana.  Over the course of my research on places to relocate to, I had been considering the possibility of moving to these states, but the norm of less than 3 weeks of pleasant weather for the entire YEAR now has me rethinking the wisdom of such a move.

The darker blues of the coastal regions aren’t surprising given their proximity to water, but I rule these out due to the insufferable humidity.  Plus, no mountains, and I gotsa have mountains.

That leaves the pockets of bluer circles scattered across the Rocky region, so I’m noting the ones that are specifically located in Colorado.  This gives me a pretty good idea of which regions of Colorado have the most moderate climates, especially how given they are to extreme weather.  Then there’s the area of the Appalachians that stretch from West Virginia down to Tennessee, which average around the same amount of pleasant days as downstate New York.

A lot of this pretty much affirms what I already know, but it’s also helped me narrow my focus somewhat on picking an ideal area of the country where I can feel most at home.  It looks like Colorado, or the mountain ranges spanning West Virginia, Kentucky, Virginia, Tennessee, North Carolina and even South Carolina would be my best bet.

Happy Single Awareness Day!

Absent a nagging wife or a neurotic girlfriend, I feel as if I can freely be myself on Valentine’s:

Dancing in Balloon SuitsOne of the things I’ve noticed over the past year is how at ease with myself I am not when I’m with other people, but when I’m completely alone.  Solitude is quiet, peaceful, stress-free, and kinda awesome.  If it weren’t due to some sense of obligation to friends and family I probably would never talk to anyone, at least not for lengthy periods of time.  In fact, I’m planning as an experiment of sorts to go completely dark and off grid for say, a week, just to see how well it helps me recharge.  Solitude, and I mean REAL solitude, seems to be the only thing that truly helps me rejuvenate and unwind.  It doesn’t matter where I go, it only matters that I’m completely ALONE.

People exhaust me.  They’re rude, uncivil, fickle, weird, strange, incorrigible, LOUD, inane, insufferable and intolerable to deal with.  Whenever I interact with the lot of them it always seems to be too much to expect even a modicum of basic civility and etiquette.  Women especially seem to magnify these traits to an absurd degree by injecting emotion and drama into EVERY.  LITTLE.  THING.  In fact, I had to cut off my last romantic interest because the neurosis was out of control.  I know not EVERYONE is like this, but too many are, and if I had to choose between the whirlwind drama of a flighty romance and peaceful solitude, I’ll choose the later every time.

I wonder if this is a masculine trait in some respects.  Is this why some men have garages to work alone in or a “man cave” they can otherwise call their own, free of any womanly influence and interference?  We’re not hard wired to deal with drama, while women seem to thrive on it, to the point of inventing it where none exists if necessary.  I see this so often that I wonder if it’s even possible to meet a girl who values the quiet as much as I do.  Whenever I think I’ve found someone who isn’t like that, it doesn’t take long before the potential relationship turns into an emotional freak circus, and I’m once again running for the hills.

I don’t get why so many guys opt for the drama instead of the solitude, but then again I’ve always been something of an anomaly.  I’ll never forget one night when I was at sports camp for high school and we were staying in this freezing cold cabin with more holes than a basketball net.  It was night and some of the seniors were out hazing the freshmen by tying them to their beds while they were sleeping.  I was a freshman as well, but I wasn’t worried, and planned to take a walk in the dark by myself later that night so I could watch the stars.  My roomie though was TERRIFIED and BEGGED me to stay.  He didn’t want to be alone and was afraid the seniors would get him.  He was one of the “cool” kids too, and at the time I couldn’t understand why he was so scared.  In the end I stayed, but I was annoyed that I had lost “me” time just so I could keep my roomie from wetting his bed.  The seniors got him anyway, but because I was there he was able to laugh it off.  I understood then, if only dimly, how some people’s need for human company and fear of solitude was so profound that they would even marry badly just to avoid being alone.

I do crave and value human company though, or more specifically female company, but as soon as it goes sideways I tend to exit stage left in a hurry.  I really have no patience for games, psychological warfare or drama, but this seems to be all women ever bring to the table.  Take away the sex appeal, and what’s left?

Spending Valentine’s Day alone used to bother me, but not so much anymore.  Life has always presented me with two choices: be alone, or be in a turbulent, one-sided relationship with endless drama, aggravation, and loss of income.  The later ironically enough is what would truly make one feel lonely, and yet that’s the option most people choose.  It’s a shame so many can’t learn to appreciate the benefits and serenity that comes from being alone, even for short periods of time.

As for me, maybe someday life will prove me wrong and I’ll meet someone I’m meant to be with who won’t drive me nuts, but I’ve come to enjoy the solitude, and crave it even more in the midst of a world that has lost all sense of decorum, sanity and civility.

My next bachelor pad (MacBook not shown)

My next bachelor pad (MacBook and other Apple toys not shown)

Can you solve this riddle?

This riddle was lifted from one of my favorite movies about second chances and redemption.  See if you can figure it out (no googling!!!):

You’re driving in a hurricane and you see three people at a bus stop.  One is an old lady who is sick and needs medical attention.  One is your best friend and he saved your life once.  The third is the girl of your dreams (or man for you ladies).  You only have room for one in your car though.  Which one do you take?

Seems like an impossible choice to make, but when you see it a certain way, you realize sometimes the impossible becomes the possible.

Aside

Being adorkably positive

I’m going to engage in some positive thinking tonight and envision Zooey Deschanel resting her head on my muscular chest in a heavenly embrace.  Cuz Joel Osteen told me the power of positively thinking positive thoughts in a positive way is like, positively awesome and stuff.  I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow morning when I wake up next to the real deal, cuz I’m positively believing it will happen.

Ok, gonna go positiviting now….

Learning to let go of the suck

I had a few blogging ideas that I decided to shelve, partly because they seemed rather vindictive to me, and I’m not sure I want to be THAT GUY, you know?

Of course, sometimes it helps to just blow off steam because certain people managed to annoy me, and as such, I feel it’s only fair that I’d insult their mothers and verbally throw rocks at them (and their mothers) for committing the cardinal sin of, you know, annoying me.

And yet I feel though that I’ve simply become too evolved, yes, indeed, too awesome to debase myself to this form of petty schoolyard bullying anymore.  I’ve come to realize that people in general tend to suck, have always sucked, and will do nothing but suck, mostly because they all suck, for as long as I live my days out here on Earth.  To rehash and restate the obvious in a blog post, even for purportedly therapeutic reasons, would seem counterproductive.  We all know they suck, so what really would be the point of actually blogging it out here that they suck, when said suck is readily transparent to all those who don’t suck (or at least don’t suck as much as the sucks in question)?

The only time this really becomes an issue for me is when said suck is so magnificently breathtaking in its suckitude that I feel an nearly overwhelming urge to publicly address the suck, call it out on its suck, and to do so in the most brutally, devastatingly, suckish manner possible.

Or you know, I could just air out my frustrations in a game of Halo (or in my case, the violently gory Nancy Drew games) and call it a day.

It’s hard to let go though.  Whether the suck is as simple as one blowing you off, or gaping in awe as a new friend transforms from sweet and cuddly to demon hellspawn in the blink of an eye, or wincing at William Shatner’s rendition of Tambourine Man, one can find much suckage in life.  So much in fact, that it can drown out and bury those moments that don’t suck (or suck as much).

It begs the question, since such non-suckish moments tend to be precious, wouldn’t it be better to dwell and blog on those moments, and reflect on them rather than the suckish moments?  And truth be told, wouldn’t a blog that constantly harped on everything wrong with the world kinda… suck?  I would think so.

Hereto then is my blogging resolution, whereby I resolve to be non-suckish by refusing to dwell on the suck.

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